Green Eyes
by Izabella
Summary: Troubled by James' careless, arrogant behavior, Lily turns to a long lost friend for comfort.  LJ & LS.


Lily lay curled up in the fetal position on the cold, damp grass beside the Lake. She was sobbing quietly, wondering how a day that started out so fantastically could have gone so terribly wrong.

James' smug, arrogant face, reddened from excessive alcohol consumption in celebration after the morning's Quidditch victory, kept popping into her mind.

It had started out like any other fight.

"How does it feel to snog the greatest Quidditch Seeker Hogwarts has ever known?" he had said loudly, after dragging her over to him and kissing her sloppily in front of the entire crowd at the Three Broomsticks that afternoon.

Lily pulled away from him, glaring. Most everyone laughed—though some of them, Like Remus Lupin, did so rather forcedly. A few of the girls rolled their eyes, but the truth was nearly every girl in the school would have given anything to be in Lily Evans' position right then. That is, every girl except Lily Evans herself.

"_You're being a prick_," she muttered angrily in his ear. She turned away from him and stalked off. James violently shoved a stool out of his way, knocking over a fourth year Ravenclaw girl in the process, and stumbled towards Lily.

"Wait! Get back here Lils—I'm not finished with you!"

She turned her head momentarily to give him a death stare, but continued making her way out of the pub. Just as she stepped outside, she felt a strong, masculine hand grab hold of her arm.

"Where do you think you're going?" James said. His face was red and she could tell he was upset with her. So be it.

"Away from you. Let go of me!"

He let go of her at once, but stepped in front of her so that he blocked her passageway.

"You can't just _leave_," he snapped.

"Pretty sure I just did," she shot back.

"Lily, what is your problem? We just beat Slytherin! Stop sulking and get back inside. Everyone's having fun."

"No, everyone's watching you while you act like a pompous ass, per usual! I've had enough."

"Goddamnit, Lily, can't you let me have _one_ moment of triumph? I mean, did you see that dive I made to catch the Snitch? Can't you let me bask in the glory of it for a few minutes?"

"You can bask in the glory of it for as long as you want, James—in fact go ahead and bask in it for the rest of your pathetic life, if that's what's going to make you happy. But don't you _dare _treat me like I'm some trophy of yours."

"I just wanted to share the moment with you."

"Oh please, James, would you get over yourself already?! You wanted to show me off, like you used to do with all your stupid girlfriends before I made the greatest misjudgment of my life and agreed to go out with you!"

And without giving him a chance to retort, she vanished into thin air and apparated into Honeydukes. A brick of dark chocolate was the only thing that was going to make her feel any better. She paid for it and then retreated into a back corner of the candy shop to devour it alone, in peace.

Twenty minutes and one brick of chocolate later, she was feeling slightly better about life, albeit mildly nauseated. James was still not her favorite person, but she was no longer reveling in the look of horror she imagined would appear on his face if she decided to hex him. Suddenly she felt a tap on her shoulder. It was Sirius.

"Thought I might find you here," he said, sitting down next to her.

Lily sighed. "Hello, Sirius."

"Firewhiskey?" he asked, presenting her with a flask.

"No thanks. I feel a bit ill from all the chocolate I just consumed."

"Ah. Are you sure it's the chocolate and not an overdose on James Potter's insurmountable ego?"

Lily looked up at Sirius, who was grinning. She broke into a smile herself. "I think that's the first time I've ever heard you speak badly of him."

"And it will probably be the last. Look, Lily, everyone knows James can be a bit full of himself on occasion. But he's a good guy—he means well. And you have to hand it to him, that _was_ an incredible dive he made to catch the Snitch."

Lily rolled her eyes.

"The point is, he's a good person. The best person I know, in fact. And he loves you."

"Not as much as he loves himself," Lily muttered.

"No, you're wrong. He would lay down his life for you in a heartbeat. He'd do it for any of us. But right now he's sulking alone in the corner of the Three Broomsticks because he doesn't know where you went and he's terrified you're going to break up with him."

Lily, who had been concentrating on twisting a strand of her long, auburn hair, looked up at Sirius. "Is he really?" she asked.

"I swear to God. He's a wreck."

Lily bit her lip.

"Well, just thought you ought to know," Sirius said, knowing he'd won the battle. "Anyways, I'd better get back to him. See you later, Evans."

He got up and strode off.

"Wait," said Lily, just before he reached the door. He turned around, grinning. "Oh don't give me that smug look or I'll change my mind and let him rot away in his misery!"

Sirius laughed. He grabbed Lily's hand and pulled her out of the store. A few moments later, they entered the Three Broomsticks.

"James!" Sirius shouted, as the entered the room. "I've found something for you. It has long red hair and bright green eyes and if you don't come claim it right away I might have to steal it for myself!"

Lily punched Sirius playfully in the arm. "In your dreams," she said. "Now leave me alone while I go find him."

"Wait!" Sirius cried, for he had just spotted something horrible. "Er, Lily, I don't think he's in here…yeah, he must have left!"

But it was too late. Sitting right in front of them, with a look of horror and guilt on his face, was James Potter. In his lap, sat Leandra Brown, another Seventh Year Gryffindor, who just happened to be one of James' ex girlfriends. Her arms were wrapped around James' neck, and she was glaring triumphantly at Lily.

"I knew it," Lily whispered. "I should have known it."

"Lily, wait!" James cried. "This isn't what it looks like!"

Leandra promptly slapped James across the face, slid off his lap, and stalked off.

"Clearly not," Lily said sarcastically.

"Lily, seriously, he's telling the truth!" said Sirius. "James and Leandra have been over for centuries!"

Lily just stood there shaking her head in disbelief. "Gryffindors are supposed to be honest and righteous. I might as well have been stuck with a bunch of Slytherins, for all the good this has done me."

"Please, Lily…" James pleaded.

"Don't ever speak to me again."

And with that, she vanished again, this time apparating to the edge of the Hogwarts grounds, at which point she reappeared and walked, shaking, until she came to the edge of the lake. She slumped to the ground, tears streaming down her face, and let her misery consume her.

Some minutes or hours later, she felt a warm hand on her back. Startled, she turned around to see who it was.

"Sev?" Lily whispered, looking up at the familiar face.

"What did he do to you?"

Lily shook her head and allowed Severus to take her hand in his.

"Lily, tell me what happened. I swear to God, if he hurt you…"

Lily just continued to sit there crying. Severus wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead. Rather than fighting it, she allowed him to draw her closer to him, and didn't try to move away when he continued kissing her face, as if he were trying to clear away the tears.

"I love you," he whispered in her ear. "I have always loved you."

She looked up at him, and he thought his heart would break at the sight of those sad green eyes, shiny with tears.

"Sev…"

"You don't have to say anything," he said quickly. "I just wanted you to know."

He kissed her hair, and then her ear, and she moaned softly. Then, hardly knowing what he was doing, he kissed her mouth. He half expected her to slap him, but she didn't. She hesitated for a moment, and then suddenly she was kissing him back, more passionately than he had ever dreamed, and the feel of her soft lips and tongue on his was driving him mad.

Suddenly he jerked away, gripping his arm with a look of terror on his face.

"What is it?" Lily asked.

Severus didn't answer her, but continued to stare at his arm, and all the color quickly drained out of his face. Lily watched him with a mixture of curiosity and fear.

"It's him, isn't it?" she said after a few moments had passed.

"It's nothing," Severus responded quickly.

Lily stood up.

"Where are you going?" he asked her.

"I've been lied to enough for one day."

"Lily…"

"Stop it, Sev. You caught me in a moment of weakness, and in my idiocy I allowed myself to forget for a few minutes who you had become."

"You don't understand!"

"Spare me."

She turned to head back towards the castle, but Severus grabbed her hand and held her back. His face was ashen, and there was a look of such intensity on his face, that Lily was almost afraid.

"I'd quit!" he said, gripping her hand so tightly it hurt. "I'd leave it all behind. If I could be with you, I'd quit at this very moment and I'd never go back."

Lily looked at him intently. In the moonlight, with his hair falling across his forehead, and his dark eyes sparkling with emotion, he almost looked handsome.

"I believe you," she said at last, and there was a strange, sad smile on her face. "But it's not good enough."

"I'd give up everything for you! What more can you want?"

"I don't want you to give it up for _me_, Severus. I want you to give it up because you know it's evil. Because you want to do the right thing."

"All I want is to be with you. Pick me instead of James, and I swear to God, Lily, I'll switch sides, I'll work for the Order, I'll do anything--"

Lily shook her head, and there were tears streaming down her face again. "There are more important things. Fighting Voldemort, that's more important, so much more important, than our petty little love triangle. I'm sorry, Severus, but it's not good enough, and it never will be, as long as you keep putting the desires of your own heart before everything else."

She leaned forward to kiss him one last time. As their faces touched, their tears mingled together, and Lily kissed Severus softly, allowing her lips to linger on his for a few moments, before finally pulling away.

"Goodbye, Sev," she whispered.

She turned and walked away. He didn't follow.


End file.
